A ban on kite-flying failed to dampen the spirits of party-goers in Lahore at the weekend, where hundreds of parties took place to celebrate the age-old Basant festival. But one gathering stood out.

Under a starry sky filled with fireworks, about 150 gay men clambered to the roof of an apartment building for an exuberant party. Bollywood music spilled into the streets as dress-wearing men twisted and whirled flamboyantly.

Some older men with moustaches and wearing traditional shalwar kameez stared silently from the sidelines. But most of the party-goers were in their 20s, dressed in jeans and T-shirts, and looking for a good time. "We just want to have fun," said one of the organizers, known as the "hot boyz".

Homosexuality is taboo in Pakistani society, where sexual orientation is rarely discussed and the gay rights debate is non-existent. Sodomy is punishable by up to life in jail, and religious leaders condemn gay men as an aberration of western corruption.

When President Pervez Musharraf boasted of empowering minorities, during a press conference with George Bush in Islamabad 10 days ago, he was unlikely to have been referring to gay emancipation. Yet many homosexuals say their community is quietly thriving, often with the tacit acceptance of a society which prefers to look the other way. Assaults on gay men are rare; sodomy laws are seldom invoked.

Communities of Hijra - a transsexual group, with roots which stretch back to the Mughal empire - are found in all major cities. "In a bizarre way homosexuality is condemned but not opposed," said a gay man from Karachi. "There is an indulgence here, a cultural ability to live and let live."

Such matters gain little political capital. When Urdu-language newspapers accused a former chief minister of Sindh province of being a cross-dresser two years ago, the storm quickly blew over and the politician kept his job.

The apparent open-mindedness is at odds with Pakistan’s austere and socially conservative image abroad. Last year Punjabi authorities briefly banned female participants in marathon races, while sex outside marriage between men and women is punishable by death.

Cultural factors offer one explanation - gay men can easily camouflage their relationships because public displays of affection between men, such as holding hands, are widely accepted. "Western gays are gobsmacked about how easy it is to pick up guys here, how often they are approached," one gay man said.

Nevertheless, homosexuality, like anything related to sex, is practiced with great discretion. Internet chat rooms provide a safe and anonymous forum for middle- and upper-class gay men. Cohabiting couples are rare, and most gay men still marry to avoid scandalizing their families.

An Afghan refugee sparked controversy in the Khyber tribal agency last September when he was "married" to a 16-year-old boy. A tribal council ordered the pair to leave, or be stoned for breaking religious and tribal values.

And many Pakistanis ignore their existence, seeing homosexuality as an abhorrent, western practice. "It is not allowed in Islam and is surely against the laws of nature; it is one of the signs of the end of the world," a contributor to a BBC Online debate recently wrote.

Unlike vocal gay rights activists in western countries, many Pakistani gay men feel that the lack of debate suits them. "If we were being actively persecuted, then we might fight in public," said a gay man in Islamabad. "But you don’t want to pick a fight you can’t win."

Source: Guardian Magazine